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<title>32 unread messages from: Gordos Feetman by moth_them</title>
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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/28133979">32 unread messages from: Gordos Feetman</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/moth_them/pseuds/moth_them'>moth_them</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>HLVRAI - Fandom, Half Life VR But The AI Is Self Aware</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Grieving, OOC probably lol, Other, Past Relationship(s), Previously dead character</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-12-17</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-12-17</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-10 14:48:05</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Major Character Death</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>720</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/28133979</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/moth_them/pseuds/moth_them</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>gordon finds a phone</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Benrey/Gordon Freeman</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>6</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>67</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>32 unread messages from: Gordos Feetman</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>this is like,,,,,,,, a couple years after the rescas</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <i>Gordos Feetman: Ben?<br/>
GF: You didn't show up to school again.<br/>
GF: It's been a week.<br/>
Gf: I hope your okay.<br/>
GF: Please reply when you can<br/>
GF: Love you, dude.<br/>
GF: 'nO hOmO'.</i>
</p><p>
  <i>Gordon set down his phone, looking up at his fan. It's on the lowest setting and is making a low hum that reminds him of Benrey's sweet voice.<br/>
Everything reminds him of them, when he hasn't seen him since before Christmas break.<br/>
It's January 10th.<br/>
"Gordito?" The door creaks open and his mom is standing there. "Are you okay? Do you want something to eat?"<br/>
"Yeah, I'm fine, why?" Gordon lies, spinning in his chair to look at them.<br/>
His mom glances behind her. "We heard you crying last night is all. Is it Benrey?"<br/>
He grit his teeth. "Uh, yeah. He hasn't been to school and won't answer my texts."<br/>
"Do you need a hug?"<br/>
"No, no, I'm fine."</i>
</p><p>Gordon thinks about that now, staring at his ceiling. He looks at the phone he found in his kitchen the other day. It doesn't have a case and the wallpaper is a large cat. It didn't have a password, and it opened to a wall of phone games. A couple days ago it started ringing with messages from Tommy, of all people. Saying how he missed having Benrey around to help him decorate for Hanukkah again. Sending pictures of him and Darnold decorating his living room. That's when Gordon realized who's the phone was, but still has no idea how it got in his house.<br/>
He took the number and dumped it into his closet.</p><p>xxx-xxx-xxxx: Hey, Ben.<br/>
It's uh<br/>
Gordon.<br/>
God this is weird.<br/>
I found your phone in my house.<br/>
But you know that, I guess<br/>
I've been texting for a day or two now.<br/>
Let's see.<br/>
It's the middle of december.<br/>
I went to Tommy and Darnold's apartment with Joshie, for Hanukkah. He made us all food. He answered all of Josh's questions, even though some were probably too invasive.<br/>
I'm not Jewish, but it still felt nice. Darnold gave Josh and I sweaters, with little menorahs on the pockets. It was nice of them to include us.<br/>
Uh<br/>
Do you remember like, 15 years ago or something. It was one of the first years our parents started spending Christmas together, after your mom disappeared.<br/>
And your dad was freaking out because my moms made the food too spicy.<br/>
It wasn't a serious freakout, just a dorky white guy freak out.<br/>
But you and I, in the smaller dining room, couldn't stop laughing, because he was being all dramatic to make my moms laugh because they were sad about something. I think one of the dogs passed away.<br/>
And he drank straight from our milk carton, and we all wouldn't stop laughing and laughing.<br/>
This feels weird.<br/>
We weren't friends in Black Mesa.<br/>
Fuck, I pretended to not remember you. At least, I think I was pretending. I don't remember.<br/>
And I<br/>
You know<br/>
I don't have to say it<br/>
But this is... helping? Even though you won't respond.<br/>
Because.<br/>
You are<br/>
Where you are...<br/>
I had a nightmare the other night. About you. You were all big and scary. But you didn't say the same things you said then. You talked about when we were kids. Said shit that just reminded me of how garbage I acted when we were in high school.<br/>
...<br/>
I'm sorry, Ben.<br/>
For<br/>
Everything, really.<br/>
Not listening to you...<br/>
Uh.<br/>
Goodnight, man. I hope you can sleep, wherever you are.</p><p>That typing bubble popped up for a split second but Gordon blamed his exhaustion. He set down his phone and sighed, rubbing his eyes.<br/>
"Dad?"<br/>
Gordon looked up. Joshua is standing in the doorway, wearing clothes suited for the cold outside.<br/>
"Are you ready?"<br/>
"Man, I'm sorry kiddo, I totally spaced out, give me a second to grab my shoes." Joshua nodded and walked away, looking down at his switch. Gordon sighed, rubbing his eyes and standing up, stowing away his phone in his pocket.<br/>
He can't shut down like he used to. He has to take care of Joshua, and talk to Tommy and Darnold and the grandpas.<br/>
He shouldn't be sad about Benrey.<br/>
He grabs his boots from his closet and goes to find Joshua again.</p>
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